The Art of Dating - Humor

How important is humor when it comes to dating? Between a drop dead gorgeous guy who is so boring that he can put you to sleep and an average looking guy who can make you laugh until you cry, who would a girl choose?

I think most girls would choose the later. Yes guys, humor is very important when it comes to winning a girl's heart.

Humor is a complicated skill, some guys have it while some guys just don't. For those guys who seem to be born with the skills to make girls laugh at will, well, you ought to thank your mum and your dad for blessing you with such a useful ability. Ha.

For those whose jokes are always met with a puzzled look and questions of concern, like "Are you okay?" Or "Have you taken your medicine today?" fret not. You can LEARN to be funny. Though of course you will not be as natural as those who are just born humorous, at least it's still better than nothing.

If you can make a girl laugh, you have already won half the battle. I think it has got something to do with the chemicals that are released when someone laugh. I mean when you laugh, you are happy right? So if a guy can make a girl laugh, his face will naturally be associated with joy and fun and eventually the girl will grow to be attracted to the guy.

Of course we all know there are lots of ways to make someone laugh. We can simply do it physically like tickling the person. Ha. But that could easily land you in trouble, you wouldn't want to stay in jail for molestation right?

When you think of humor, does jokes come to your mind immediately? Note that telling jokes is just one of the methods. Telling jokes all day will not impress a girl. You are not a jester mind you. She might even think you are trying too hard to be funny.

The humor we are talking about here is more about teasing. Teasing with humor. However, you must be mindful of how you tease a girl and not go overboard. It's a fine line between teasing and insulting. Teasing with creative and intelligent remarks is the way to go. When you tease a girl, say it with a nonchalant attitude and you must sound smooth and confident.

A tease that makes a girl think (Ie. not so straight forward, the girl must think to get the punchline) is one that is most effective. Also, tease only when appropriate. For example, if this girl just had a new haircut and it's very nice, don't tell her that. Instead, say something like, "Wow this must be your bad hair day right?"

The way you deliver your tease is particular important too. The tone of your voice, the expression on your face. She MUST know that it's a tease and that you are not serious. You could say it with a cheeky grin on your face. If not delivered well, she might take it that you think her haircut is not nice and may feel insulted.

So, if you are not a humorous person to begin with, how can you work on it? Well, for a start you could read more funny books. Just go to the humor section of your favorite bookstore. You can take a peek at the jokes book but just try to memorize a few jokes here and there. Like I mentioned jokes are not as effective as a tease.

Try to get a feel of how humor works. Watch sitcom like Friends. They really have some intelligent humor in the show.

Then practice and practice! You might not be so successful in your first few tries but remember the more you try the better you will become. Eventually, the puzzled looks will be replaced by guffaws.

Remember, it's all about Creative and Intelligent Humor and that means no more Blonde jokes. Ha.

The Art of Dating - Secrets of knowing if a girl is attached

You have been reading up on the Art of Dating articles recently and picking up valuable tips as you go along... You met this girl and applied the secrets you have learnt. Things turn out fine; the future is looking bright for you... But there is just one nagging question at the back of your mind.

You are not too sure whether the girl is available, still on the shelf or already checked out by another guy. You want to find out but do not want to ask her directly for fear that you might not be able to take the blow should you hear her say "Yes, I do." right in front of your face.

How? You ask. Do not worry my friend; there are actually 101 ways to find out whether a girl is attached. In this week's art of dating series, we will be looking at some useful and practical solutions.

Listen for "boyfriend" in her conversation

Men should learn to listen. This is readily agreed by ladies all over the world. This first method allows you to hone your listening skills.

When talking to the girl of your dreams, listen for the word "Boyfriend." Of course, you do not need to get agitated whenever an instance of that word is mentioned. What matters most is the word before "Boyfriend."

If it is, "Her boyfriend, Mary's boyfriend or Sally's boyfriend." you're safe.

However, if you hear the words "MY boyfriend", then it's most probably game over for you... unless of course she follows up with...

"left me a couple of years ago" or "only exists in my dreams."

So listen carefully before you react!

Look for objects of affection

Look out for objects of affection she might be wearing like a ring or an "I love my boyfriend" T-shirt. If she is indeed wearing a ring but you want to make sure, comment on how beautiful the ring look and ask her where she got it from.

As long as her reply is NOT "Oh, my boyfriend gave it to me. " then you're fine.


Check her wallet via a "Magic Trick"

Note that most couple would put their photo of them posing sweetly together in their wallet. This is a sure sign that she is attached. But you can't possibly ask to see her wallet without her smelling a rat?

This is where the "Magic Trick" comes in.

You can invent the routine yourself but remember that the trick must end with you searching her wallet. Here's an example:

Show her a marked coin and tell her that in a few moments time, you are going to make it vanish from your palm into her wallet.

Of course, she would think you are crazy but it's okay. Let her think so.

Next, take out a handkerchief or tissue paper and wrap the coin with it. Ask her not to take her eye off the wrapped coin as you slowly put it into your pocket.

Pull your hand out of your pocket, (with the coin still inside your pocket.) Declare that the coin has already magically traveled from your pocket into her wallet.

She would most definitely look at you with eyes wide and maybe laugh a little. Do not be dishearten but instead insist that the coin is inside her wallet. She might not believe you at first but after a few rounds of prompting, she would be curious enough to reach for her wallet.

This is where you take a peek while she is searching for the "magic coin." If you did not get a clear look, ask to find the coin yourself. Show that your palms are empty and take the wallet from her. She would think that the trick is still ongoing.

At the end of it, claim that the trick did not work and return her the wallet. She would probably stare at you again but it's okay, you already have your answer.

Be advised that if you do find a photo of the loving couple inside her wallet, DO NOT grab the photo and tear it into shreds no matter how strong the temptation. It is most likely she can take another one with her boyfriend, so that would not really matter to her. But you would be the one who risks getting beaten up by her man!

Tease her

This is another indirect yet simple to execute method. "Tease her by asking her questions like, "Hey, thinking of your boyfriend ah?", "How come your boyfriend never come and pick you up?" "Today so good, never go out with your boyfriend?"

These questions will provoke a reaction from her if she is still single. It would be music to your ears if should answered, "Aiyoh, I where got boyfriend?"

However, do not look at her, mouth wide opened with tears in your eyes if her answer is, "Yah lor, I really miss him a lot." Instead, keep your composure and reply coolly, "Oh I see. You are so lucky. How I wish I had a boyfriend. (Followed by a fake laugh.)

If you are unable to control your emotions and you feel your eyes getting teary, say immediately, "Okay, I've got to go. There's this big piece of sand in my eyes."

Ask her roommates, classmates, colleagues

Be discreet should you decide to employ this method. You wouldn't want to go up to her roommate/classmate or colleague and ask, "Hey, does (your dream girl) have a boyfriend? That would be as good as asking her directly!

Use more tactful questions like, "How come I always see (your dream girl) hanging out with you girls. Are you girls lesbians? (Followed by a fake laugh.)" or "What type of guys does (your dream girl) like? Cos I have this cousin that I think might suit her."

Hire a Private Investigator

Yes, expensive but guaranteed. You will be amazed what information these guys can dig out.

If you are loaded, let someone else do the hard work while you sit at home and wait for the result. A highly recommended solution!

Online Search

With the wonders of technology, your job just got easier! "Google" her name to see whether she has a blog, since almost everyone who knows how to use the internet have one nowadays. If she does have one, you are almost there.

Browse through her entries and see whether there's any reference to a guy she calls, "Dear, Love or Hubby." If not, it is likely that you stand a chance! Unless of course, you see a reference to a guy she calls, "Loser, Freak, Pervert" and that person happens to be you.

Lastly, you can also try to locate her friendster /facebook account. Trust me; everyone in the world is linked to one another in the most unimaginable way. She could be a friend of your cousin's girlfriend's friend. Or if possible, do an email search on friendster to locate her profile.

There are two things to look out for when her profile pops up. One is the relationship status and the other one will be the photo she puts up.

If the status is "In a relationship/domestic partnership/married" and the photo is one of her and the guy, then it's time to pack your bags to seek greener pastures."

Final Words

The moments leading up to the answer may well be the most stressful time of a guy's life and the situation is made worse should it not be the one he wants to hear! Here are a few tips to try to reduce the stress level.

1) Take deep breaths.

2) Tell yourself it is okay if she's attached. It's not really the end of the world. Only the end of yours.

3) Cover your ears before she says the answer.

Good luck!

Originally published in 2006

The Art of Dating - Secrets of the First Kiss

Okay, now that you have held her hand, it's time to move on to the next level. Time to turn up the heat, the moment has come for her to give you her most precious thing… her first kiss that is.

Now, some of you might argue that your new found girlfriend might already have given her first kiss to her kindergarten crush a decade ago or maybe the spoilt JC brat.

It doesn't matter really. Forget the past; her third and fourth kiss is equally precious. What matters most is that it is the first kiss between the both of you.

For such an important occasion, it is only fitting that everything goes perfectly. Believe it or not, girls dream about their first kiss with their prince charming as much as their perfect wedding.

You wouldn't want her to complain to the grandchildren 50 years down the road that their grandfather's breath stunk when you kissed her back then.

This guide will teach you how to make your first kiss a moment to remember.

Before we dwell into that though, we first need to look at the different types of kiss available. According to last count, there are at least 50 types of unique kiss all over the world.

These ranges from the more common “French Kiss” to the almost unheard of “Italian Mama Mia Kiss” to the “Mexican Kiss”. What? You think the Mexican only invented the wave?

When it comes to who invented the best kiss, the French comes up top. Why else would the “French Kiss” be so popular all over the world? Let's now take a detailed look at the “French Kiss” and 4 other types of kisses.

The French Kiss

Though the French claim that they invented the “French Kiss”, it was actually a German who gave birth to this special kiss. Verlag von Wilhelm Hertz born in a small town of Munich was the first to execute the kiss.

It was only when he moved to France and converted to French citizenship that his kiss became widely known.

The “French Kiss” got into the limelight in the 90s when it was used in a scene in the romance movie “Ghost” starring Demi Moore. The “French Kiss” typically involves the passionate locking of lips of both parties, with tongue teasing as part of the action.

A very sexy and intimate kiss, the “French Kiss” is a popular choice amongst lovers.

The record held for the longest French Kiss ever was clocked at 23 hours 35 minutes by a French Couple. Amazingly enough, this couple was well into their seventies. The even man boasted that he could go on longer if not for the fact he felt sleepy and needed some rest.

The Italian Mama Mia Kiss

Little is known about the Italian Kiss but reports claim that it originated from an Italian Pizza maker in the Town of Rome . The kiss is known to send waves so intense to the other party that he/she would shout out loud, “Mama Mia!” at the end of the kiss, hence the name.

The Mexican Kiss

The Kallang roar, the wave of fire… These are all variations to soccer's most popular Mexican wave, where the spectators rise in succession, swinging their arms wildly at the same time, creating an illusion of a wave in the stadium.

It is a little known fact but the Mexican also invented the Mexican kiss that is rather similar to their wave. How does it work though? Well, think of the Mexican wave but instead, the actions are on the lips. A rather unorthodox kiss?

The Flying Kiss

This kiss involves zero physical contact whatsoever. The giver of the kiss will kiss his or her own hand then send the imaginary kiss through the air to the partner.

The recipient upon receiving the kiss will either gobble it up greedily, place the kiss on his/her cheeks or place it in his/her heart.

The flying kiss is more common among friends and younger couples.

Pecks

This is light kissing, either on the lips, cheeks or forehead. There are hidden meanings though. If your partner kisses you on the lips, it means that he/she is still at the infancy stage of kissing but it won't be long before he/she executes the more advanced kisses.

A peck on the cheek suggest that the other party is not too sure yet. It could also mean a friendly gesture mind you. So don't get carried away.

A peck on the forehead can only mean that your cheeks are too oily and the forehead is the only place she can safely kiss without smearing the lipstick she has on. Time to wash your face dude!

Now that you have learnt a bit more about kisses, let's move on to the preparations leading up to the big day.

You wouldn't want you mouth to stink when you kiss her, so a week prior to the kiss you should,

1) Take 2 breath mints. 4 times per day. Before and after meals.

2) Use mouth wash after meals. Gargle at least 10 minutes for each usage.

3) Switch to vegetarian. Green makes your breath smell fresher. You can lose weight while on a salad diet too!

4) Practice oral hygiene but not too excessively. You know you are overdoing it when your basin is red every time you are done brushing.

5) If you are a smoker, stop smoking during the week. On second thought, you should quit smoking altogether. It's expensive and bad for health.

Okay, you have taken the necessary steps, now you feel you are ready to execute the perfect kiss. But how do you know she's ready? Drop hints to her that is.

While on dates, sing songs that have “Kiss” in them. Songs like “Sealed with a Kiss”, “Kiss from a rose” would do just fine.

When the big day finally arrives, it's time for the ultimate move, the actual kiss. Find a romantic setting.

You wouldn't want your first kiss to be at the bus stop just facing the rubbish dump.

Find a good place like the bench at the park that has a pond in front of it, with the backdrop of the setting sun…The mood and atmosphere of such a magical setting would make any girl want to kiss you, even your grandma!

Now gentleman, the secret for the actual kiss, the real deal, the moves you have been dying to know… the fiercely guarded secret… okay enough of suspense. Here it is…

Sit next to her and then comment on her hair. Say something like, “Hmm… what beautiful hair you have.” She most probably would smile and tell you what shampoo she uses. Don't be discouraged.

Next, draw attention to her eyes. “Hmm… what big eyes you have…” This time she would say thank you and might even add that it's better to see you with her big eyes.

Immediately after that comment, lean forward towards her face and say, “Hmm…what sexy lips you have.”

2 things may happen after you make that remark, depending on whether the girl got the hint. She might"

1) Jump up from the bench and say, “Geez, you are scaring the hell out of me! You sound exactly like one of my gay friends. What's wrong with you today?!”

2) She will move her lips towards yours and from there you will execute whichever kisses you are best at.

Of course we all hope that the outcome will be the 2nd scenario. Rest assured that if you have followed the steps in this guide, the results will be a successful one! Good luck!

Originally published in 2006