The Art of Dating - Secrets of knowing if a girl is attached

You have been reading up on the Art of Dating articles recently and picking up valuable tips as you go along... You met this girl and applied the secrets you have learnt. Things turn out fine; the future is looking bright for you... But there is just one nagging question at the back of your mind.

You are not too sure whether the girl is available, still on the shelf or already checked out by another guy. You want to find out but do not want to ask her directly for fear that you might not be able to take the blow should you hear her say "Yes, I do." right in front of your face.

How? You ask. Do not worry my friend; there are actually 101 ways to find out whether a girl is attached. In this week's art of dating series, we will be looking at some useful and practical solutions.

Listen for "boyfriend" in her conversation

Men should learn to listen. This is readily agreed by ladies all over the world. This first method allows you to hone your listening skills.

When talking to the girl of your dreams, listen for the word "Boyfriend." Of course, you do not need to get agitated whenever an instance of that word is mentioned. What matters most is the word before "Boyfriend."

If it is, "Her boyfriend, Mary's boyfriend or Sally's boyfriend." you're safe.

However, if you hear the words "MY boyfriend", then it's most probably game over for you... unless of course she follows up with...

"left me a couple of years ago" or "only exists in my dreams."

So listen carefully before you react!

Look for objects of affection

Look out for objects of affection she might be wearing like a ring or an "I love my boyfriend" T-shirt. If she is indeed wearing a ring but you want to make sure, comment on how beautiful the ring look and ask her where she got it from.

As long as her reply is NOT "Oh, my boyfriend gave it to me. " then you're fine.


Check her wallet via a "Magic Trick"

Note that most couple would put their photo of them posing sweetly together in their wallet. This is a sure sign that she is attached. But you can't possibly ask to see her wallet without her smelling a rat?

This is where the "Magic Trick" comes in.

You can invent the routine yourself but remember that the trick must end with you searching her wallet. Here's an example:

Show her a marked coin and tell her that in a few moments time, you are going to make it vanish from your palm into her wallet.

Of course, she would think you are crazy but it's okay. Let her think so.

Next, take out a handkerchief or tissue paper and wrap the coin with it. Ask her not to take her eye off the wrapped coin as you slowly put it into your pocket.

Pull your hand out of your pocket, (with the coin still inside your pocket.) Declare that the coin has already magically traveled from your pocket into her wallet.

She would most definitely look at you with eyes wide and maybe laugh a little. Do not be dishearten but instead insist that the coin is inside her wallet. She might not believe you at first but after a few rounds of prompting, she would be curious enough to reach for her wallet.

This is where you take a peek while she is searching for the "magic coin." If you did not get a clear look, ask to find the coin yourself. Show that your palms are empty and take the wallet from her. She would think that the trick is still ongoing.

At the end of it, claim that the trick did not work and return her the wallet. She would probably stare at you again but it's okay, you already have your answer.

Be advised that if you do find a photo of the loving couple inside her wallet, DO NOT grab the photo and tear it into shreds no matter how strong the temptation. It is most likely she can take another one with her boyfriend, so that would not really matter to her. But you would be the one who risks getting beaten up by her man!

Tease her

This is another indirect yet simple to execute method. "Tease her by asking her questions like, "Hey, thinking of your boyfriend ah?", "How come your boyfriend never come and pick you up?" "Today so good, never go out with your boyfriend?"

These questions will provoke a reaction from her if she is still single. It would be music to your ears if should answered, "Aiyoh, I where got boyfriend?"

However, do not look at her, mouth wide opened with tears in your eyes if her answer is, "Yah lor, I really miss him a lot." Instead, keep your composure and reply coolly, "Oh I see. You are so lucky. How I wish I had a boyfriend. (Followed by a fake laugh.)

If you are unable to control your emotions and you feel your eyes getting teary, say immediately, "Okay, I've got to go. There's this big piece of sand in my eyes."

Ask her roommates, classmates, colleagues

Be discreet should you decide to employ this method. You wouldn't want to go up to her roommate/classmate or colleague and ask, "Hey, does (your dream girl) have a boyfriend? That would be as good as asking her directly!

Use more tactful questions like, "How come I always see (your dream girl) hanging out with you girls. Are you girls lesbians? (Followed by a fake laugh.)" or "What type of guys does (your dream girl) like? Cos I have this cousin that I think might suit her."

Hire a Private Investigator

Yes, expensive but guaranteed. You will be amazed what information these guys can dig out.

If you are loaded, let someone else do the hard work while you sit at home and wait for the result. A highly recommended solution!

Online Search

With the wonders of technology, your job just got easier! "Google" her name to see whether she has a blog, since almost everyone who knows how to use the internet have one nowadays. If she does have one, you are almost there.

Browse through her entries and see whether there's any reference to a guy she calls, "Dear, Love or Hubby." If not, it is likely that you stand a chance! Unless of course, you see a reference to a guy she calls, "Loser, Freak, Pervert" and that person happens to be you.

Lastly, you can also try to locate her friendster /facebook account. Trust me; everyone in the world is linked to one another in the most unimaginable way. She could be a friend of your cousin's girlfriend's friend. Or if possible, do an email search on friendster to locate her profile.

There are two things to look out for when her profile pops up. One is the relationship status and the other one will be the photo she puts up.

If the status is "In a relationship/domestic partnership/married" and the photo is one of her and the guy, then it's time to pack your bags to seek greener pastures."

Final Words

The moments leading up to the answer may well be the most stressful time of a guy's life and the situation is made worse should it not be the one he wants to hear! Here are a few tips to try to reduce the stress level.

1) Take deep breaths.

2) Tell yourself it is okay if she's attached. It's not really the end of the world. Only the end of yours.

3) Cover your ears before she says the answer.

Good luck!

Originally published in 2006

The Art of Dating - Secrets of the First Kiss

Okay, now that you have held her hand, it's time to move on to the next level. Time to turn up the heat, the moment has come for her to give you her most precious thing… her first kiss that is.

Now, some of you might argue that your new found girlfriend might already have given her first kiss to her kindergarten crush a decade ago or maybe the spoilt JC brat.

It doesn't matter really. Forget the past; her third and fourth kiss is equally precious. What matters most is that it is the first kiss between the both of you.

For such an important occasion, it is only fitting that everything goes perfectly. Believe it or not, girls dream about their first kiss with their prince charming as much as their perfect wedding.

You wouldn't want her to complain to the grandchildren 50 years down the road that their grandfather's breath stunk when you kissed her back then.

This guide will teach you how to make your first kiss a moment to remember.

Before we dwell into that though, we first need to look at the different types of kiss available. According to last count, there are at least 50 types of unique kiss all over the world.

These ranges from the more common “French Kiss” to the almost unheard of “Italian Mama Mia Kiss” to the “Mexican Kiss”. What? You think the Mexican only invented the wave?

When it comes to who invented the best kiss, the French comes up top. Why else would the “French Kiss” be so popular all over the world? Let's now take a detailed look at the “French Kiss” and 4 other types of kisses.

The French Kiss

Though the French claim that they invented the “French Kiss”, it was actually a German who gave birth to this special kiss. Verlag von Wilhelm Hertz born in a small town of Munich was the first to execute the kiss.

It was only when he moved to France and converted to French citizenship that his kiss became widely known.

The “French Kiss” got into the limelight in the 90s when it was used in a scene in the romance movie “Ghost” starring Demi Moore. The “French Kiss” typically involves the passionate locking of lips of both parties, with tongue teasing as part of the action.

A very sexy and intimate kiss, the “French Kiss” is a popular choice amongst lovers.

The record held for the longest French Kiss ever was clocked at 23 hours 35 minutes by a French Couple. Amazingly enough, this couple was well into their seventies. The even man boasted that he could go on longer if not for the fact he felt sleepy and needed some rest.

The Italian Mama Mia Kiss

Little is known about the Italian Kiss but reports claim that it originated from an Italian Pizza maker in the Town of Rome . The kiss is known to send waves so intense to the other party that he/she would shout out loud, “Mama Mia!” at the end of the kiss, hence the name.

The Mexican Kiss

The Kallang roar, the wave of fire… These are all variations to soccer's most popular Mexican wave, where the spectators rise in succession, swinging their arms wildly at the same time, creating an illusion of a wave in the stadium.

It is a little known fact but the Mexican also invented the Mexican kiss that is rather similar to their wave. How does it work though? Well, think of the Mexican wave but instead, the actions are on the lips. A rather unorthodox kiss?

The Flying Kiss

This kiss involves zero physical contact whatsoever. The giver of the kiss will kiss his or her own hand then send the imaginary kiss through the air to the partner.

The recipient upon receiving the kiss will either gobble it up greedily, place the kiss on his/her cheeks or place it in his/her heart.

The flying kiss is more common among friends and younger couples.

Pecks

This is light kissing, either on the lips, cheeks or forehead. There are hidden meanings though. If your partner kisses you on the lips, it means that he/she is still at the infancy stage of kissing but it won't be long before he/she executes the more advanced kisses.

A peck on the cheek suggest that the other party is not too sure yet. It could also mean a friendly gesture mind you. So don't get carried away.

A peck on the forehead can only mean that your cheeks are too oily and the forehead is the only place she can safely kiss without smearing the lipstick she has on. Time to wash your face dude!

Now that you have learnt a bit more about kisses, let's move on to the preparations leading up to the big day.

You wouldn't want you mouth to stink when you kiss her, so a week prior to the kiss you should,

1) Take 2 breath mints. 4 times per day. Before and after meals.

2) Use mouth wash after meals. Gargle at least 10 minutes for each usage.

3) Switch to vegetarian. Green makes your breath smell fresher. You can lose weight while on a salad diet too!

4) Practice oral hygiene but not too excessively. You know you are overdoing it when your basin is red every time you are done brushing.

5) If you are a smoker, stop smoking during the week. On second thought, you should quit smoking altogether. It's expensive and bad for health.

Okay, you have taken the necessary steps, now you feel you are ready to execute the perfect kiss. But how do you know she's ready? Drop hints to her that is.

While on dates, sing songs that have “Kiss” in them. Songs like “Sealed with a Kiss”, “Kiss from a rose” would do just fine.

When the big day finally arrives, it's time for the ultimate move, the actual kiss. Find a romantic setting.

You wouldn't want your first kiss to be at the bus stop just facing the rubbish dump.

Find a good place like the bench at the park that has a pond in front of it, with the backdrop of the setting sun…The mood and atmosphere of such a magical setting would make any girl want to kiss you, even your grandma!

Now gentleman, the secret for the actual kiss, the real deal, the moves you have been dying to know… the fiercely guarded secret… okay enough of suspense. Here it is…

Sit next to her and then comment on her hair. Say something like, “Hmm… what beautiful hair you have.” She most probably would smile and tell you what shampoo she uses. Don't be discouraged.

Next, draw attention to her eyes. “Hmm… what big eyes you have…” This time she would say thank you and might even add that it's better to see you with her big eyes.

Immediately after that comment, lean forward towards her face and say, “Hmm…what sexy lips you have.”

2 things may happen after you make that remark, depending on whether the girl got the hint. She might"

1) Jump up from the bench and say, “Geez, you are scaring the hell out of me! You sound exactly like one of my gay friends. What's wrong with you today?!”

2) She will move her lips towards yours and from there you will execute whichever kisses you are best at.

Of course we all hope that the outcome will be the 2nd scenario. Rest assured that if you have followed the steps in this guide, the results will be a successful one! Good luck!

Originally published in 2006

The Chicken & The Duck

A newly married couple went for a walk together in a wood. They were having a wonderful time until they heard a sound in the distance:

"Quack! Quack!"

Wife said: "That must be a chicken"

Husband said: "No, that was a duck"

Wife said: "No, I'm sure that was a chicken"

Husband said with some irritation: "Impossible. Chickens go 'cock-a-doodle-doo', ducks go 'quack quack'. That is a duck"

The sound went "Quack! Quack!" again.

Husband: "See, it IS A DUCK"

Wife: "No dear, I am positive that it is a chicken"

They carried on the debate for a short while and the husband grew impatient and almost raised his voice and the wife was almost in tears.

The husband saw the tears welling up in his wife's eyes and, at last, remembered why he had married her. His face softened and he said gently, "Sorry darling, I think you must be right. That is a chicken".

"Thank you darling," she said and squeezed his hand."Quack! Quack!" came the sound through the woods and they continued their walk together in love.

*Moral of the story*

Does it really matter whether it was a chicken or a duck? What was more important was their harmony together, and that they enjoyed their walk.

How many marriages are broken over matters? How many divorces cite "chicken and duck" stuff? When you understand the story, you will remember your priorities.

The marriage (or relationship) is more important than being right about whether it is a duck or chicken. And besides, how many times have we been absolutely sure that we are right, only to find out later than we were in fact totally wrong?

Who knows? That could have been a genetically modified chicken made to sound like a duck!

(Taken from a blog somewhere in the worldwide web)

The Art of Dating - Secrets of holding her hands

Holding of a partner's hand is an important stage in the courtship process.

For the guy, holding the female's hand means he is telling her that he is willing to take care of her forever. And if the girl doesn't take her hand away, it is a signal to the guy that she has accepted his proposal.

The holding of the hand can be seen as the very last milestone in a courtship. We all know what happens next after a couple hold hands right?

Of course they officially become boyfriend and girlfriend.

It is like a mutual agreement between the two parties involved to commit to this relationship.

Though it might look easy to just reach out and grab the hand of the opposite sex, there is in fact more than meets the eye.

One have to consider the various factors like the environment, mental states of both persons, the length of time to hold and even like the amount of pressure to exert on the hand!

It is not rocket science but it's still an art. Therefore the need for this guide.

Are you a guy who is fast approaching the finishing line and need that extra push? Perhaps you feel that it's time that you hold your female friend's hand and bring your relationship to the next level.

But how can you be sure that this is the moment, most importantly how do you react if she rejects you and pulls her hands away?

This gem here will teach you how to increase your chances of holding her hands successfully and the best ways to handle rejections in the worse case scenarios.

Before we begin, let us first try to understand women a bit more. Though some might laugh at this idea; You can NEVER understand women. Let's at least try here shall we?

First of all, most women are shy and passive creatures, meaning you should never expect her to make the first move when it comes to the holding of the hands. It is like expecting Liverpool to win the English Premier League anytime soon.

Though not impossible but this only happens in rare instances, so don't count on that happening to you.

However, female are intelligent and they might send out subtle hints to the guy that the time is ripe to hold her hands. So guys, look out for these tell-tale signs.

1) While rubbing her hands together, she will constantly say that her hands are cold.

2) She will place her hands in a favorable position, close to you while you are walking side by side. This is to make it easier for you to reach out to grab those hands.

3) She will comment on how her hands look very empty. Beware though cause this might also mean she is hinting you to buy her a ring!

There is no sure way to gauge when it is the right time, it's about the feeling. Once you are quite certain that she will accept the invitation to be your girlfriend, it's time to proceed to the real secrets, how to go about holding those precious hands.

There are a lot of ways to achieve the goal. Some people prefers to be straight forward and grab her hands right smack in the middle of the road, while some prefer to slowly build up the atmosphere and surprise her with the grand finale.

I will provide a few suggestions here and it's up to you to choose which works best for you.

The Traffic lights

This is one of the more strategic methods. Here's how it works. While crossing the road, you grip her hands. The timing is very crucial here. You should only cross when the green men is blinking.

In your “hurry”, you hold her hands to ensure that she would arrive at the other side of the road safety with you.

If she doesn't let go of your hands after you guys have crossed the road, Congratulations! You have succeeded!

If she pulls her hands away and stare at you in shock, apologize and explained that in the rush just now, you forget and just grabbed her hands. Most girls should understand.

Remember to only cross the road when the green man is flashing. Between being held by a jerk and being knocked down by a car, most girls would choose the former.

The Magic trick

Tell her that you have learnt a new magic trick and want to show her. But she would have to lend you something, her pair of hands. Think up of a routine yourself, nothing too fanciful or complicated.

After the finale of the “trick”, hold her hands together with yours and look lovingly into her eyes. Remember it's lovingly NOT lustfully.

Depending on the girl, it might take a few seconds to minutes before she realizes your real meaning.

If the girl looks back at you, smiles and then turn shyly away, all the while still holding your hands. You have done it again!

But if she stares back at you after a few minutes have passed then ask, “Hey, when will this stupid trick end? My hands are feeling a bit numb.” Most probably she did not understand what you are trying to do or she has rejected your proposal.

Let go of her hands and declare that the trick is over. You would most likely get a puzzled look but there's always the next secret to work on.

The Movie

Most guys would prefer to hold the girl's hand in a more discreet manner and what better way to do it than in the cinema. It's dark, she's strategically seated next to you, and the others would be engrossed in watching the movie, leaving you with the perfect opportunity.

The choice of the movie here is quite important mind you. Most of you might consider watching a romantic movie to build up the atmosphere. That would be a fatal mistake!

Instead, choose a horror movie.

Why? So that if she screams in disapproval when you attempt to hold her hands, at least the people in the cinema would think that she is screaming at the movie!

The last resort – Just do it!

If you are not the beat around the bush type of guy, the previous tactics might not appeal to you. You want to be more direct, more straightforward. Alright, then just grab her hands while you are walking down the street.

But you must have utmost confidence in yourself if you choose to employ this tactic or else the consequences might be disastrous!

If she jerks her hands off yours and stare at you with hatred straight from hell and demand an explanation for your actions, for goodness sake think of something creative.

Never say that you saw a mosquito on her hand and was merely trying to kill it. That would just give her the perfect excuse to slap your face and claim that she was trying to get the same bug!

Here are some excuses you can try.

1) Sorry. I forget to take medicine today.

2) Huh? What happened? (Pretend to have been possessed by Satan a few moments ago.)

3) Smile and say Happy April's Fools. (Can only be used on 1st April)

Before we go, here are just a few more reminders.

1) Always wash your hands before you attempt the solutions, especially if you just got back from the toilet.

2) I know you might get too nervous but never hold her hand so hard that it becomes blue or worse break. You wouldn't want your new girlfriend to suffer a fractured hand because of you!

3) Don't rush things, wait for the right moment. You want the first time to be the most perfect.

Last but not least, here is one line that will melt any girl's heart. You can try saying this, “I'm not rich or anything and I have sweaty palms but are you willing to hold these hands and be with me?”

But if you are rich AND have sweaty palms, say this instead.

“I AM rich and HAVE everything INCLUDING sweaty palms. Are you willing to hold these hands and be with me?”

Good luck!

Originally published in 2006

Siu Kai's Valentine's Day Survival Guide for Singles

Dateless and clueless on how to spend the dreaded Valentine's day alone again? For most singles, 14th Feb is not really a day to cheer about, in fact for some, it could even be the most miserable day of the year!

So, you are stuck at home with no date while your friends have abandoned you to celebrate this special day with their love ones? What to do now you ask. Fret not; Siu Kai is here to help!

The first thing you have to do when V day comes around is to check your calendar which day it falls on. A weekend or weekday?

If it is a weekday, call in to report sick whether you are at school or work. Chances are you wouldn't want to see the millions and millions of couples parading and showing their love openly on the streets. Even the slightest glimpse could send you straight to the depths of hell.

So, Siu Kai's advice here is to stay at home.

You wouldn't be lying to your teacher or bosses anyway. You are indeed sick. Love sick what. Or should I say the-lack-of-love sick?

The next thing you should do is head down to the nearest 7-11 or supermarket to purchase the following items:

1) A 6 pack of any beer. If you can afford a party pack, the better.

2) Chocolates, Ice-cream, Chips, Peanuts and any other junk food you can find.

3) Lots of tissue paper. In fact, buy kitchen towels instead. They are larger and soak up water better.

4) Some sleeping pills. Enough to let you sleep for a few hours but not too much that you may never wake up.

5) Some instant noodles, in case you get hungry.

After buying the above stuffs, make a trip to the nearest video store and rent some VCDs or DVDs. It's going to be a long day pal and you wouldn't want to get bored.

My advice is to choose comedies that can make you forget the sad truth of being single on V-Day. No preferences here but try not to choose “Mr Bean.” Try something more intelligent, something that can stimulate your brain, to distract you from the unhappy thoughts.

Never, never choose anything that has Tom Hanks and Meg Ryans in it. Titles like, “You've got mail, Sleepless in Seattle ” and any other movies that has love in it is a strict no no.

Check with the video guy that there is no romance scenes whatsoever in the video you are renting. Just in case, it's better to be safe than sorry.

Once you are armed with the movie of your choice, it's time to go home. If you want, you can invite some of your other single friends to spend this “Perfect day” with you.

Okay, you're home already? Open up the cans of beer you have just bought. It's time to drown your sorrow.

Wait a minute, I forget that sorrow knows how to swim. Damn. So it would be pointless then. Tell you what, why don't we change to milk instead. It's healthier and calcium makes your bones stronger too.

Go to the fridge and get the milk instead. Got it?

Since you would most probably have hours to spare, let's watch the movies you have rented to kill time. The junk food should be strategically placed next to you so that there would be minimal reasons for you to leave your comfortable couch.

After the movie marathon, it should be close to evening already. Good. We are almost halfway there, just a few more hours to go. Hang in there!

If you are hungry, that's when the instant noodles you've bought will come in handy. Don't bother ordering pizza or other fast foods. They are most likely to have those stupid V Day specials that will make your blood boil.

After dinner, it's time for the most therapeutic stage of this guide. It's time to let your emotions free. Yah, you heard me, it's time to get those tears flowing man, open the dam, let it out.

Go on, shed a tear or two. Cry damn it!

To enhance the mood, pop in your favorite CDs of crappy love ballads. “All out of love by Air Supply and “Right here waiting” by Richard Marx are some of the better choices.

Turn the Hi-Fi to full blast if you need. Ignore the neighbors. They will understand.

Remember the kitchen towels you bought earlier? Use them freely.

Experts all agree that one would feel better if he can express his feelings out, rather than keep it all in.

An hour of non-stop wailing should do the trick. You wouldn't want to cry so much that your eyes get so swollen you friends might think you got beaten up or something.

Now, it's time to sleep… Take a few sleeping pills if you are unable to go to Slumber land. Not too much mind you, being dateless on V Day is not really the end of the world.

Lie on your bed and as the pills start to take its effect, let yourself go. Forget your troubles, forget the worries. You will find your someone soon. Tomorrow will be a better day.

Congratulations! You have just survived Valentine's Day with flying colors!

*Disclaimer: The above article is NOT meant to be taken seriously! NEVER mix sleeping pills with alcohol. It could be lethal. Furthermore, sleeping pills should only be taken with a doctor's prescription.

However, drinking milk is good and you should drink it everyday rather than only on V Day.

The authors wishes to add that though he loves Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan's movies, it is strongly not advisable to watch them on V-Day if you are single. It could be lethal too.

Originally published in 2006

Love at first sight: Fact or Fiction?

How often have you heard the saying, “Love at first sight?” Have you heard tales of couples who fell in love with each other the moment their eyes met?

“Oh. It happened to a friend of a friend.”

“When I first saw Shirley, I knew that I had fallen in love.”

Love at first sight. How true is it? Is it really possible for someone to really fall in love with a person with the opposite sex the moment he/she sets his eyes on that person?

In this article, we seek to unravel the mystery and truth behind this phenomenon known as Love at first sight.

Before we delve further, we first have to take a closer look at the definition of “love” and “first sight.”

Firstly, Love. The love we are talking about here is of course romantic love between members of the opposite sex. Of course, in modern society today, sometimes love might also occur between members of the same sex. But we won't be going there.

Webster's dictionary defines love as (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests

Some people claim that when you fall in love, you go weak in the knees, or some swear that you cannot get the person out of your mind when you are in love.

Others feel that love is a sharing of interest and getting to know the person well. While there are some who feels that your life is never complete until you find love.

We may never come to a universal definition of love, just like how George Bush may never find his weapons of mass destructions. But simply put, love can be defined as an emotional bond you share with a member of the opposite sex where you seek to understand, accept, appreciate and show affection to the other party.

Now that we have our definition of “love”, let us take a look at the meaning of first sight. In this case, our first sight would most likely refer to the first glance, the first 10 seconds of setting your gaze upon the other person.

If we directly translate the meanings of “Love” and “First sight”, this popular saying would seem rather ridiculous. How can you possibly share an emotional bond with a person to seek to understand, accept, appreciate and show affection within the first 10 seconds of meeting someone?!

That would be a joke.

Of course, we know that things don't work that way. That would just be playing with words.

Researches have proven that human beings tend to set first impression within the first few seconds of meeting someone. Within those 10 seconds, the person will decide whether he likes you or not. From the way you look, the way you dress and the way you present yourself.

The first impression is made quickly and ruthlessly.

That is why there are professional courses out there to teach you how to make the first impression count.

Could this “Love at first sight” merely be a case of having a good impression of someone within first contact? If that is the case, is it safe to say that you can't fall in love with someone at first sight if the person is physically unattractive and you have a poor impression of?

On the other hand, if the other person is a pretty babe or a handsome hunk, would that mean you have a better chance of falling in love instantly?

In this instance, is that even love we are talking about here or lust?

Some people claim that “Love at first sight” is much deeper than that. It's not just about liking, it's about the feeling and the instant connection you have with the other party.

“When I first set my eyes on her, I knew that she was the girl I wanted to marry.” Is it even possible for that to occur when you don't even know any single bit of detail about the person?

People who fell in love at first sight experience funny feelings where the heart beat faster, they start to be more aware of themselves and suddenly they are very excited.

Why is it that we feel this way?

Perhaps we can get our answer from the way creatures behave in nature.

How do creatures in nature attract each other? They don't fall in love don't they? They merely act upon their instincts. When a potential mate comes along, they will strike. How did our ancestors cavemen fall in love? We don't know but maybe they didn't but just acted upon their instinct.

Could we have inherited this special skill from our primate ancestors? Perhaps evolution simply enhanced this unique ability of ours? The brain sends a signal to the rest of the body to act according when it detects a potential mate?

Maybe we are constantly sending out invisible signals around us. Love at first sight could occur when we received a matching signal from a party of the opposite sex.

Despite the advancement of technology, Scientists are still quite clueless how the human brain works. They believe that this organ of ours is very powerful and have vast potential but most of us are only tapping a small percentage of its ability.

There are people out there who claim to have sixth sense, maybe they were able to tap a bit more of their brain functions. So, perhaps love at first sight is really possible. In those mere seconds of seeing the other person, our brains have already done all the mix and match, the complex calculations and determine that the other person is compatible and a potential mate.

Therefore, subconsciously, we feel that we have fallen in love with that person.

There are a lot of mysteries in the world that are still undiscovered and other topics that are still eagerly debated. Like is there a higher being, GOD? Or does spirits exists?

So far, no one has been able to prove that they exist, yet no one has been able to prove that they don't. Why else would people be coming forward everyday claiming to see spirits of the recently deceased or GOD have spoken to them?

There are things in this world that science cannot explain yet.

Perhaps love at first sight is another of the thing that has no definite answer at the moment.

So the next time you hear a friend say that he/she fell in love at first sight, don't be too skeptical. You never know when it will be your turn to fall in love instantly.

Originally published in 2006

The Art of Dating - Secrets of the Perfect First Date

After missing in action for such a long time, Siu Kai is back to present to you the next part of "The Art of Dating" series - Secrets of the perfect first date.

So, after some time getting to know this girl, you feel that she might just be the right one for you and you would want to ask her out for a first date. But you have no idea how to go about planning it. You've heard story of how first dates go bad and you wouldn't want anything wrong to happen on your perfect day.

Hey, hey, not to worry man, that's what this gem is for. In this article, you will discover the fine secrets of making that first date perfect. :o)

The first thing you have to ask yourself is this. What is the purpose of this date? Most of the time, it would be because you want to get to know her better face to face and if you feel that she's the one, maybe you can arrange for a 2nd date and so forth. Let her see you without "the mask", that is you should be yourself and not try to act like someone whom you are not.

For example, if she is a Arsenal fan and she likes Martin Keown very much and you happened to be a Man U fan, don't blindly say that you support that guy too. It would not be good in the long term. Instead, you should be truthful and say, I hope that piece of crap get suspended for what he did to Ruud. Ha. :op

Okay, now that you are clear why you want to meet her, the 2nd question that should be on your mind is where the hell should you go. You wouldn't want to meet her at the MRT Station and then decide from there, worse ask her where she would like to go at the last minute. Most girls like guys to be decisive and be in control. Of course, there are exceptions.

The perfect first date should be planned way before hand, maybe one or two months earlier. In fact, you should start planning for your first date the moment you set your eyes on her. Ha. Just kidding lah.

Let's say you're asking her out on a Saturday. By right, you should have already pop the question on Monday and she would have given you an answer by Wednesday. So, where should you go on a first date? Well, there are quite a few choices, like going to concerts, watching a movie, shopping or just hang out at Coffeebean.: o) Well, why not have a little of each then?

First, ask her out to watch a movie. Ask her what she would like to watch. If she says she wants to watch Finding Nemo but really you would rather watch half naked men laying the smackdown on one another than a talking fish, it's up to you whether you want to go with her choice. The most sensible option here is to watch the fish lah, you can always watch half naked men some other time right? This is a date with a girl you like remember?

However, if she says she has no idea what to watch, just choose the latest blockbuster that is showing at the theaters. But make sure she likes that type of movie. If she is frightened by the dark, don't get her to watch Ju-On with you. She would most probably faint and you have to spend the better half of the date at the hospital! You get the point right?

After you decided on the movie, the next thing is to book the tickets. Imagine the disappointment when you reach the cinema and the words, "Sold Out" stare you right in the face. That wouldn't be too nice right?

For the actual day itself, you should wake up early, not that you would be able to sleep well in the first place due to the excitement. If you find yourself unable to sleep, go for a jog in the morning. It will keep you alert and when one is alert, he feels more confident.

Go one or two hours early to collect the tickets. The buffer time is also in case of any screw-ups. Really, you would not want to be late for your first date. With the extra time to spare, you can also do things at your own pace instead of rushing. When you rush, you tend to sweat. You wouldn't want to smell like shit when you meet her right? Imagine if she smells like fresh roses while you stinks…Duh?! You get the point?

Talking about scent, it would be advisable if you put on some deodorant of cologne to mask that body odor of yours. Ha. Just don't over do it.

Finally, you look at your watch and it reads 2pm. Any moment now, she will be here. Then, you caught sight of her walking towards you, smiling. Smile back and say hi. If she says, "Hey, you're early. Sorry I made you wait." You should reply, "No lah, I just came about 10 minutes ago." Of course, we all know you have been waiting since the early morning. :o)

After some casual talk, ask her whether she has eaten. If she has, suggest going window-shopping. If not, ask her whether she would want to grab a quick bite. The choice of where to eat would be yours. Choose a place that is less crowded so you won't have such a hard time finding seats and also you can hear each other while talking.

Now the one question, do you offer to help her buy food? If you are at a fast food restaurant, you should. But what if you are at a foodcourt? There are 2 choices here. Either you order the same food as her, thus you can find a reason for ordering for her or you let her order herself. Who should pay? Well, once again either you guys go dutch or you offer to treat her this time and maybe she can treat you another time. Another excuse for a second date!

If your food arrives first, don't just start gorging as if you have not eaten for ages, it's only polite that you wait for her order to come too. And one more thing, never talk while you are eating. This also applies to when she is eating. How the hell do you expect her to answer you when her mouth is full of food? Have you ever been in a situation when you are trying hard to chew your food because someone just asked you a question while you are eating halfway? Not really nice right?

After the light lunch, if you still have some time to spare, go shop around. Maybe if you happen to see something interesting and nice yet would not leave a hole in your pocket, you can buy it for her as a first date gift.

Okay, now it's time to watch the movie. Before you enter the theater, make sure you have 2 of the following items with you. No, not popcorn or pepsi. But rather a jacket/coat and a packet of tissue. A jacket is when she feels cold, you can offer her the jacket to keep her warm…ah…so nice right? :o) The tissue paper comes in handy when you are watching movies that has a high potential of making her cry, think Titanic. It has a secondary purpose too, in case you need to shit and there's no paper in the toilet! Ha.

Now, when the light dims, one important thing to take note, keep those hands to yourself! And watch the movie for goodness sake, not stare at her throughout the movie! Ha. The next one and a half or two hours would be the most wasteful time of the entire date…but hang in there okay?

After movie, dinner lah. Ha, eat all day must be pigs lah? If she says she's till quite full from the lunch earlier, offer to have a drink instead. This time, don't go to any fastfood restaurant, in fact avoid the crowd. Choose a quieter place where you can just sit down and talk over a cup of coffee or something.

Remember the movie you just watched? Well, you can discuss about it with her. But mind you, don't ask her questions which you know will only result in one word answer like, How did you find the movie?" She would most certainly say, "Okay loh." Instead, ask intelligent questions that would prompt a discussion, like, "Don't you think that bitch was a bit too selfish, leaving that poor chap to freeze to death in the cold ocean?" Ha.

While talking, get to know her better. Never mind if there are lots of people queuing up waiting for seats. To hell with them! Ha. That's the reason why you should choose less crowded places. So that you can talk to her for hours and not worry about being chased away.

At the end of the date, tell her that you really enjoyed yourself and ask her whether she did. Most girls would say yes, even if it was a torture being with you. Ha.

Seriously, if you had followed all the secrets taught she would gladly wants a second date with you. Heck, maybe you were so good that she would ask you for a second date on the spot! Okay guys, dream on. Ha.

Take the opportunity to ask her when you might see her again. If your first date was a success, she would most probably say next week. Tell her you will call her again and offer to send her home.

Most certainly, she would decline. If that's the case, at least walk her to the bus stop or MRT station lah.

Say one last goodbye and wish her goodnight. No goodnight kiss yet, don't rush things. After leaving, sms her, thanking her for making your day such a perfect one.

Finally, to end the perfect first date, you can either call her or sms her to check whether she has reached home safely. After that, wish her sweet dreams and she would most likely say, "You too."

Ha. I bet you will be having lots of that don't you, you lucky bastard! "o)

Originally published in 2006

The Art of Dating - Secrets of asking a girl out

Hi! You are back! So you got to know your dream girl and after a week of getting to know each other, you feel that you're ready to ask her out for the first date? But you have no idea how to go about doing it? What if you say something wrong? Worry not, in today's secret, you will learn the fine art of asking a girl out.

The first golden rule you must remember is, always give the girl ample time to prepare for the date. So, if you want to meet her this coming weekend, you had better start asking her the previous Saturday. It's not nice if you ask whether she's free a day before the date. It's just not sincere.

Make her feel that she's important and you have planned the weekend specially for her. Do not say things like, "My friends are not free this coming week. You're the next best option!" Ha.

How do you ask a girl out? Do you zoom in directly, "Hey wanna meet this weekend?" Or do you beat around the bush? Well, that will depend on you. Both methods will work fine. Below are some lines you can consider using.

1) Hi, wanna meet up this Saturday?

2) I was wondering whether you are free this coming Saturday. Perhaps you want to meet up?

3) Are you free this weekend? Shall we meet?

The following are some lines you should NOT try.

1) It would be an honor if you can join me this weekend. ( Too fake )

2) I'm free this Saturday. You can join me. ( Too cocky )

3) I know I don't stand a chance but maybe, just maybe you would meet me this Saturday?

4) Do you want to accompany me this weekend? ( Sounds strange )

5) Pleaseee come out with me this weekend! ( Too desperate )

And if you are daring enough, maybe you can try...

6) I feel that you can me are meant to be together. Perhaps you want to meet this weekend and let nature take its course?

Ha. That was obviously a joke.

If you prefer beating around the bush, you can ask her out by giving yourself an excuse, like watching a movie, play or concert. Ask her whether she has watched the latest blockbuster or play. If she has not, invite her to watch with you.

1) I heard that INSERT name of movie, play or concert is great. Wanna watch it together?

If you are rich enough, try, I have an extra ticket to INSERT name of movie, play or concert. Are you free to join me?

But what if she rejects your offer to go out? Does it mean that she will never go out with you? Nope, maybe she's busy this time round. Don't despair, you can always try again next week, or the week after. But if after months of trying and she still refuses to meet you. Then perhaps you can try the sure work ask-her-out-line.

1) I will stop bothering you if you go out with me. Just once. I promise.

Guarantee to work man! Ha. :o)

Originally published in 2006

The Art of Dating - More secrets of approaching a girl

Hi! The hugely popular Art of Dating Series is back and this time, we are going to take a look at more ways to approaching a girl!

Can't get enough of the first part, "How do you approach a girl?" or those methods didn't work for you? Fret not, in this article we will reveal more secrets that will guarantee you success!

Before we begin, let us refresh on the three golden rules as mentioned in the first article, "Ways to approach a girl." Repeat after me, "A moment of embarrassment can bring you a lifetime of happiness. You can't die of embarrassment. Just do it." Cos these three rules will play a very important role in your future endeavors.

Now, let us take a look at the first method that is going to be discussed, that is ways to approach a salesgirl.

One day, you see this cute-looking girl in a shop, maybe she's selling clothes, books or even cosmetics. Your heart starts to beat faster, you feel a sudden urge to want to know her. You are so sure that SHE'S THE ONE! What to do? Your legs won't obey your mind's instructions as they start to walk away from the shop!

This is where the 3 golden rules will come in handy. Start to chant the 3 rules in your head. Cleanse your mind of all thoughts, face your fears. When you have calmed down and regain control of your legs, it's time for the second part of the plan.

Approaching a salesgirl is not as difficult as it sounds. All you need is plenty of guts and maybe some luck.

As mentioned in previous articles, you might want to get her to start noticing you first. Choose a weekday where there are fewer customers, go into the shop and browse around. Make sure she notices you. Best of all, ask her questions about the things she sells in the shops.

Ask about a book if she happens to work at a bookstore or ask her about the hottest fashion in town if she works in a department store. Have a small conversation with her, laugh a bit but remember don't overdo it. Leave a good impression and if you are rich enough, buy something from the shop before leaving. So far so good.

Return to the same shop 2 days later and pray hard that she's still there. If she is, good for you! If not, don't start to panic yet. Maybe she's on leave or something. Come back another day!

When you see her in the shop, go in and start to do the usual stuffs as taught earlier. Now here comes the important part, make eye contact with her and see how she reacts. If she smiles at you, congratulations! You are one step closer to approaching your goal!

However, if she gives you a cold stare, it's not the end of the world. Perhaps she's just feeling moody because her boss just ticked her off, or maybe you did not leave a lasting impression the first time round.

If that's the case, just redo the stuffs you did in the first part and this time, make sure she remembers you!

Even if she smiles at you, do not be too happy yet. She might be smiling because it's her job to do so, her boss might have instructed her to smile at all customers! Ha.

How do you confirm whether she still remembers you? Simple enough, just walk up to her and ask. If you are really that damn good and lucky, she will say, "Hi, it's you again!" Though these kinds of stuffs only happen in movies and Siu Kai stories. :o) Girls are known to be shy creatures. Most likely, she will just keep smiling and say nothing.

Now, here comes the difficult part. It's time for you to ask for her number. If at this moment you find yourself running out of things to day, start chanting the 3 golden rules again. Regain your composure, take deep breaths.

Start by asking, "Hi! Remember me?" If she replies "Who in the blue hell are you?" Then you can jolly well take a plastic bag, cover your head and get your ass out of the shop! Ha. But girls are not really that rude. Even if she does not recall who you are, she might just politely answer, "Sorry, you are?"

If that's the case, start to introduce yourself, since you have already gone so far. Don't beat around the bush like some sissy. Get straight to the point. Salesgirls are busy people you know? You wouldn't want her to get fired because of you right?

Say things like, "Hi, I'm so and so." I was wondering maybe I can have your number?" Here comes the tricky part. She might ask, " Why do you want my number?" To which you can reply, " I want to be friends with you." Or "I want to know when the latest Harry Potter books will arrive." :op

If she declines to give you her number, then you give her yours. Some girls are rather protective of their privacy and they would think twice about giving their number to strangers. So, you leave your number and say, "Hope that you can call me or waiting for your call." Ha.

After all this hard work, all you can do now is wait. Maybe a week. If there's still no reply from her, then it's time to try the girls in the other shops. Ha.

For our 2nd secret, we will examine this method formulated by Heartless. It's known as the "Call my hand phone" method. This secret is exclusive only to readers of Siu Kai™ World. :o)

You see a girl on the street whom you are interested to know. But you have no clue how to go about doing it. This is where the hand phone method comes in. Pass your hand phone to your friend and ask him to safeguard for you while you go do your stuff.

Walk up to the girl of your dreams and ask her politely whether you can borrow her hand phone because you lost yours and you want to find out whether anyone had picked it up. If she gives you a There-are-so-many-people-why-me? Look, smile and give her Cos-I-find-you-attractive look. Ha.

Most girls will gladly lend you their phones. Now it's the part which requires a bit of acting skills from you. Call your own number to which your friend will reply. Pretend to ask "the person who picked up your phone" where he is and so on. After you have the info, return the phone to the girl and thank her for the help.

If you are still wondering what's the point in doing all this, let me reveal the secret of this method. Remember when you call your hand phone from her mobile? Now it means that your phone will contain her number!

I know this is rather a cheapskate and cunning way to obtain a girl number but it's an effective one!

Once you "recover" your phone, SMS her and thank her again and maybe it will be the start of a beautiful relationship... Cheers. :o)

Originally published in 2006

The Art of Dating - Secrets of chasing a girl

In this first part of "The Art of Dating" series, we'll take a look at the many ways and tactics guys use to chase a girl. How do you go from a normal friend to a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship? There are a lot of methods to use, here we will take a look at some of the more feasible and useful secrets.

The chasing process. Most of the time, it's the guys who do all the chasing, rarely do you see girls taking this role. Couples agree that the chasing period is the most exciting and enjoyable part of a relationship. It is the most unpredictable time where there are most surprises and the guy is most romantic. Things tend to stale down once the relationship is more stable.

"My boyfriend doesn't give me flowers anymore."

"How I wish he can bring me some place instead of watching movies every weekend."

These are just some of the complaints pointed out by the girls interviewed. How do you maintain a relationship? How do you make it fun and exciting for both of you? Well, that is another topic which we will be discussing in later weeks.

For now, the secrets of chasing a girl. Now imagine that you just know this girl you are interested in. She could be your next door neighbor, a classmate, a stranger or even your friend's friend. Whichever the case, you want to get to know her better and hopefully at the end of the day, make her your girlfriend.

The first most important step to attaining this is contact. Not physical contact mind you! Let's not rush things okay? Contact as in you need her to notice you, be part of her life.

Be part of her life? Yah, call her, chat with her in school, at work or on the way home. But one thing to take note is not to overdo it. You wouldn't want to be a pest right?

Chatting is one of the best way. Most girls are talkative creatures, they like to talk crap, anything under the sun. Take my sis for example, she can talk on the phone for hours anytime, any day! Through the conversation, you will get to know the girl better, learn about her likes and dislikes, her hobbies. As you understand her more, you will discover for yourself whether she is the one for you.

In this modern day, chatting on the phone is not the only way. Alternatives include emails, ICQ, IRC and who can forget SMS? Yah, now that there is MMS, things just got easier for the guys.

You know those cute messages you can download? Those "Have a nice day" or "Thinking of you" crap? Go get them and send to her. Girls especially like this kind of candy crap. But do not flood her inbox okay? How would you feel if you receive 10 different "Have a nice day" messages? I bet your day won't be nice after that!

After so much talk, it's time for some action yah? Ask her out then. Asking a girl out involves a bit of skills. You can either do it tactically or ask her directly if you are the impatient kind.

Here are some Ask-Her-Out lines you can try.

1) "Hmm, have you watch the movie INSERT NAME OF MOVIE yet? I heard it's a good show. Wanna watch it this weekend?"

2) "My friend has a BBQ Outing this INSERT DAY OF WEEK, you wanna come along?" or you can also try

3) "Are you free this INSERT DAY OF WEEK? Wanna meet?"

Obviously, there are a lot more different ways you can ask a girl out. More on that in "Secrets of asking a girl out."

Anyway, once she has agreed to go out with you, you're almost there but not quite yet. Make your first date count. Go to the gym and tone those muscles of yours. Get rid of those unsightly fats and go get a six-pack. Ha. Have a haircut, get nice clothes, whatever just make sure you impress her on your first date.

Impress here doesn't mean you boast about your achievements or what. Don't go telling her how smart you are or how good a soccer player you are. Instead impress her by talking smartly and better still, be a good listener.

Remember that girls like to talk? Let them! Listen to her and occasionally give a bit of your comments, make sure the conversation stays alive. The golden rule is not to have too long a silence in between the conversation. It would be awkward for both of you. If you find yourself running out of things to say, whistle or sing a song, eliminate the dreaded silence. Ha. That was obviously a joke.

Talking about jokes, it would be better if you know plenty of them. Tell this to your date, make her laugh. If she laughs that means she's happy. If she's happy, she's enjoying herself and that means a well-done for you!

Of course, don't go on telling jokes all night long, you're neither a clown nor a jester.

So, where do you go on your first date? Most guys will choose to watch a movie. That is fine except that nothing much get done when both of you are staring at a gigantic screen. Watching a movie is non-interactive, it's somehow a waste of time. Experts agree that the cinema is not the best choice for a first date. But if you do bring her to a movie, try to make the best of it.

After the movie, bring her to dinner and maybe discuss about what both of you have just watched. Don't just go running off home after the movie just because you want to catch Man U against Everton. If you do that, your first date would have been a total waste of time. However, it is excusable if you are rushing to watch the showdown between Man U and Arsenal. Ha.

When the date is over, offer to send her home. She would naturally decline. Ask again. If she still insists on going home alone, ask one final time. If she still says no, then forget it. Don't get emotional and start begging her to let you send her home.

At the end of the day, give her a call when you reach home. Check whether if she has arrive home safely and ask her whether she has enjoyed herself. This would be the perfect time to ask for another date. And remember to wish her sweet dreams when you put down that phone!

The cycle will then go on... Ask her out a few more time and be creative. Don't keep going to the same old places, try something new, like bringing her to the zoo. Okay, just make sure she likes animals before you do that, you wouldn't want to torture her for a whole day!

After a few weeks, your relationship with her will gradually improve and she will start to grow fond of you. Now would be the time to pop the question, the golden question, "Will you be my girlfriend?" There are a lot of ways to ask but that is a whole new topic altogether.

To sum it up, the secrets of chasing a girl involves having contact with the girl, ie chatting on the phone, virtual world, sending crappy SMS, spending time with her and making her laugh a lot. Add some more care and romance and tada, you have the recipe for success!

Originally published in 2006

Have you found your soulmate?

How do you know that you have found the right person for you? That you have found true love? How do you distinguish between having a partner and a soul mate?

The difference is found in passivity and silence. If you feel you always have to be doing something, always have to talk and stimulate each other, if you continually have to entertain each other with exciting tales, hot gossip, and funny jokes, then you have a partner.

Your relationship is not so different from that of two business partners who work together, and always try to prove to each other how much they are contributing to the business.

"But if you can simply hold each other, saying absolutely nothing, and still the pain goes away, then you have a soul-mate. He or she knows your thoughts and secrets without you expressing them, and shares a love with you that no words can simply describe."

A student is in school, feeling overwhelmed by all her projects. The deadlines are fast approaching and she is on the brink of a mental breakdown. Suddenly, she closes her eyes and she thinks about her boyfriend. It so happens that her boyfriend is in Tekong and she can't reach him by phone.

And yet, the mere thought of him, the knowledge that he exists, that he belongs to her, and that he loves her, to her is enough to take away the pain. She gains strength from knowing that he is out there and that together they are a unity, a couple.

In a partnership, it is different however. Then only when he calls and soothes her, does she feel okay and carry on. Only in his embrace does she feel comforted.

"When you find your soul-mate, you don't even need to hear their voice or feel their caress in order to find comfort. The pain goes away just by knowing that they love and care for you, even if you are separated by thousands of miles."

You know you have a soul-mate when everything you experience, you want to share with them.

One of the most important things to ask yourself in a relationship, to see if you really care about your girlfriend or boyfriend, is whether you miss them when you are not around them. Do you ache and feel less complete? Or do you simply don't notice their absence?

When you see something beautiful, like a sunrise, do you miss them and wish they were with you to share it? Or were you simply overwhelmed by the beauty of the sun that you forgot them?

When something good happens, do you immediately want to tell them about it? Are they the first person you want to share the news with?

When you see her smile, or hear him laugh, does that make you happy? If your answer to these questions is yes, then congratulations! You have found your soul-mate.

You will want to share everything with your soul-mate. All of a sudden, living on your own will seem strange. Because now they complete you, and without them you feel incomplete.

"A soul-mate complements you in the deepest way. What you once lack, he or she nows bring to your life. Your soul-mate improves you as a person, and inspires you to accomplish things you only dreamt of."

Finally, when you find your soul-mate, you will see his or her faults. Love is not blind. You will be aware that your soul-mate lacks so much in so many areas of life. But that won't matter at all. Because you will know that you need each other, that you belong with one another, and that together you will overcome all flaws and obstacles.

"A soul-mate is not someone who is perfect, but someone who is perfect for you."

We all have a soul-mate in this earth. It is up to us to find them. Until then, we are only a half.

Have you found your other half yet?

Originally published in 2006

How do you approach a girl?

Well, I guess this is one subject most guys have very little knowledge of. So, for the first time ever, I'm going to reveal the secrets to approaching a girl successfully. Cancel all your appointments cos after today, you are going to have lots of dates! Ha.

First of all, there are 3 possible scenarios in which you can approach a girl. The first one, which is normally the hardest is when the girl is a complete stranger. Someone whom you saw on the street while shopping. Some hot babe who just happened to walk past you while you were browsing for CDs. These are the "like at first sight " type of girls and they pose the most challenge to approach.

The second scenario is when you have at least seen the girl a couple of times already. She could be your schoolmate, or the cute librarian or even the chicken stall auntie's daughter. This is the most common scenario and has a higher chance to succeed, compared to the previous one. Familiarity plays an important role here, as we shall see later.

The final scenario is when you already know that girl. Maybe she is your classmate, your friend,your junior and so on. At first glance, this might look to be the easiest scenario out of the 3 but the truth is, it is not. There are some hidden factors to consider.

Now, before we continue further, you must always remember the following 3 quotes that are keys to successfully approaching a girl.

1) Just do it.

2) A moment of embarrassment can bring you a lifetime of happiness.

3) You can't die from embarassment.

Repeat those quotes 100 times per day. Say it when you are bathing, say it while you are enjoying your favorite TV show and also before you go to bed. Once you have repeated the quotes more than 1000 times, you are ready to continue. Read on.

Let's start with Scenario one. Imagine this, one hot lazy Saturday afternoon, you are hanging out with your friends again and while walking down the street, you suddenly caught sight of this "angel from heaven."

You start to panic. You want to get her number. You would like to befriend her, but your gut is not big enough... sadly, you can only watch as she slowly disappear into the crowd. Hmm, sounds familiar right? Bet this always happen to you. Ha.

So, how do you deal with this problem? The secret to success in this case is to overcome your fear of rejection. Most of us will unlikely go up to the girl and ask for her phone number. Why? Because we are afraid that we will be rejected and be embarrassed.

But, remember the 3 quotes I told you to memorize by heart? A moment of embarrassment can bring you a lifetime of happiness. What if the girl finds you okay and is interested to befriend you, and she eventually becomes your girlfriend? There is your lifetime of happiness man!

In the worse case scenario, she will ignore you and walk away. But that is very unlikely to happen. Cause no girls are heartless. She may just politely say no to you. You will be embarrassed for a while but hey you can't die from embarrassment! And remember, the more times you approach a complete stranger, the more confidence you will achieve.

The first time might be very tough but once u passed, you will find that approaching a girl will get easier. There will bound to be one time when you meet the girl of your dreams and succeed!

Sometimes, you will find that you want to approach the girl but you just do not know what to say. Don't worry! Just do it!

The most important thing is to take the first step by walking towards her. Once you have taken the first step, take the next few steps and eventually, you will be in front of your dream girl and you will start to talk. This is perhaps the most challenging scenario out of the 3 but the rewards are definitely well worth it!

Now, let's move on to the second scenario. A girl whom you already have seen a couple of times already. You might be secretly admiring her and she does not know you yet. But, not to worry cause we will make sure she recognize you at the end of the day.

This girl might be from the same school as you, but you are in different course or class. What to do? The most important thing in this case is to let her notice you. How do you do that? The answer is actually quite obvious. Let her SEE you. If she is your schoolmate, find out her timetable, her favorite hangout in the school. Appear in front of her and create an impression.

Wait for her at the bus stop if you can but DO NOT FOLLOW HER HOME! That would be stalking and is very wrong. The most important thing here is to let her remember you. Make eye contact, cause that is the only sure way of knowing whether she saw you. Do not overdo it though cos that would make you rather irritating. Maybe 2 times a day is enough.

Once you are sure that she can already recognize you even with a blindfold on, you can proceed to stage 2 of the plan; the actual approaching.

Choose one lucky day, wear your lucky t-shirt and underwear and go up to her and start a small talk. Maybe you can smile and say, "Hi! I kept seeing you recently." Then hopefully, things will go on smoothly. You can also try the survey method™. I used it and was successful. You can read more about this legendary method in Star. My dream girl.

However, if she does not smile back and claims that she does not recognize you, it is not the end of the world though. It only means that you are now back at Scenario 1. Now, all you have to do is to apply the secrets as taught in Scenario 1.

In the final scenario, you are to approach a girl whom you know for a while already. Perhaps she is your long-time friend or maybe your classmate. Mostly, at this point, all you want to do is to say the 3 golden words and tell her to be your girlfriend.

Well, saying those 3 words is hard enough already but you will also have to consider what effect the 3 words will have on your existing friendship.

What if she rejects you? Your friendship will never be the same again or worse, you might even lose a friend. Are you prepared for this? How to say the 3 golden words is a whole topic altogether and I shall not dwell much into it. But, remember the quote, "Just do it." Do not hesitate as that will only bring down your morale

And, one more thing, before you say those words, make sure that she is not yet attached. You wouldn't want to be at the end of a bad surprise. Perhaps, you can also drop her hints before you drop the bomb on her. Maybe, say nice things to her, buy her gifts or stuffs. See her reaction. If she starts to feel uneasy, maybe it's just not the right time.

Well, this is all I got to share from my past experiences. I hope that after reading this, you have more confidence to approach the girl of your dreams. The above methods are not fool proofed but they have a success rate of 99%. Just in case you fail, please do not come and find me. I'm just another victim after all. Ha. :o)

Originally published in 2006