The Art of Dating - Secrets of holding her hands

Holding of a partner's hand is an important stage in the courtship process.

For the guy, holding the female's hand means he is telling her that he is willing to take care of her forever. And if the girl doesn't take her hand away, it is a signal to the guy that she has accepted his proposal.

The holding of the hand can be seen as the very last milestone in a courtship. We all know what happens next after a couple hold hands right?

Of course they officially become boyfriend and girlfriend.

It is like a mutual agreement between the two parties involved to commit to this relationship.

Though it might look easy to just reach out and grab the hand of the opposite sex, there is in fact more than meets the eye.

One have to consider the various factors like the environment, mental states of both persons, the length of time to hold and even like the amount of pressure to exert on the hand!

It is not rocket science but it's still an art. Therefore the need for this guide.

Are you a guy who is fast approaching the finishing line and need that extra push? Perhaps you feel that it's time that you hold your female friend's hand and bring your relationship to the next level.

But how can you be sure that this is the moment, most importantly how do you react if she rejects you and pulls her hands away?

This gem here will teach you how to increase your chances of holding her hands successfully and the best ways to handle rejections in the worse case scenarios.

Before we begin, let us first try to understand women a bit more. Though some might laugh at this idea; You can NEVER understand women. Let's at least try here shall we?

First of all, most women are shy and passive creatures, meaning you should never expect her to make the first move when it comes to the holding of the hands. It is like expecting Liverpool to win the English Premier League anytime soon.

Though not impossible but this only happens in rare instances, so don't count on that happening to you.

However, female are intelligent and they might send out subtle hints to the guy that the time is ripe to hold her hands. So guys, look out for these tell-tale signs.

1) While rubbing her hands together, she will constantly say that her hands are cold.

2) She will place her hands in a favorable position, close to you while you are walking side by side. This is to make it easier for you to reach out to grab those hands.

3) She will comment on how her hands look very empty. Beware though cause this might also mean she is hinting you to buy her a ring!

There is no sure way to gauge when it is the right time, it's about the feeling. Once you are quite certain that she will accept the invitation to be your girlfriend, it's time to proceed to the real secrets, how to go about holding those precious hands.

There are a lot of ways to achieve the goal. Some people prefers to be straight forward and grab her hands right smack in the middle of the road, while some prefer to slowly build up the atmosphere and surprise her with the grand finale.

I will provide a few suggestions here and it's up to you to choose which works best for you.

The Traffic lights

This is one of the more strategic methods. Here's how it works. While crossing the road, you grip her hands. The timing is very crucial here. You should only cross when the green men is blinking.

In your “hurry”, you hold her hands to ensure that she would arrive at the other side of the road safety with you.

If she doesn't let go of your hands after you guys have crossed the road, Congratulations! You have succeeded!

If she pulls her hands away and stare at you in shock, apologize and explained that in the rush just now, you forget and just grabbed her hands. Most girls should understand.

Remember to only cross the road when the green man is flashing. Between being held by a jerk and being knocked down by a car, most girls would choose the former.

The Magic trick

Tell her that you have learnt a new magic trick and want to show her. But she would have to lend you something, her pair of hands. Think up of a routine yourself, nothing too fanciful or complicated.

After the finale of the “trick”, hold her hands together with yours and look lovingly into her eyes. Remember it's lovingly NOT lustfully.

Depending on the girl, it might take a few seconds to minutes before she realizes your real meaning.

If the girl looks back at you, smiles and then turn shyly away, all the while still holding your hands. You have done it again!

But if she stares back at you after a few minutes have passed then ask, “Hey, when will this stupid trick end? My hands are feeling a bit numb.” Most probably she did not understand what you are trying to do or she has rejected your proposal.

Let go of her hands and declare that the trick is over. You would most likely get a puzzled look but there's always the next secret to work on.

The Movie

Most guys would prefer to hold the girl's hand in a more discreet manner and what better way to do it than in the cinema. It's dark, she's strategically seated next to you, and the others would be engrossed in watching the movie, leaving you with the perfect opportunity.

The choice of the movie here is quite important mind you. Most of you might consider watching a romantic movie to build up the atmosphere. That would be a fatal mistake!

Instead, choose a horror movie.

Why? So that if she screams in disapproval when you attempt to hold her hands, at least the people in the cinema would think that she is screaming at the movie!

The last resort – Just do it!

If you are not the beat around the bush type of guy, the previous tactics might not appeal to you. You want to be more direct, more straightforward. Alright, then just grab her hands while you are walking down the street.

But you must have utmost confidence in yourself if you choose to employ this tactic or else the consequences might be disastrous!

If she jerks her hands off yours and stare at you with hatred straight from hell and demand an explanation for your actions, for goodness sake think of something creative.

Never say that you saw a mosquito on her hand and was merely trying to kill it. That would just give her the perfect excuse to slap your face and claim that she was trying to get the same bug!

Here are some excuses you can try.

1) Sorry. I forget to take medicine today.

2) Huh? What happened? (Pretend to have been possessed by Satan a few moments ago.)

3) Smile and say Happy April's Fools. (Can only be used on 1st April)

Before we go, here are just a few more reminders.

1) Always wash your hands before you attempt the solutions, especially if you just got back from the toilet.

2) I know you might get too nervous but never hold her hand so hard that it becomes blue or worse break. You wouldn't want your new girlfriend to suffer a fractured hand because of you!

3) Don't rush things, wait for the right moment. You want the first time to be the most perfect.

Last but not least, here is one line that will melt any girl's heart. You can try saying this, “I'm not rich or anything and I have sweaty palms but are you willing to hold these hands and be with me?”

But if you are rich AND have sweaty palms, say this instead.

“I AM rich and HAVE everything INCLUDING sweaty palms. Are you willing to hold these hands and be with me?”

Good luck!

Originally published in 2006