The Art of Dating - Secrets of chasing a girl

In this first part of "The Art of Dating" series, we'll take a look at the many ways and tactics guys use to chase a girl. How do you go from a normal friend to a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship? There are a lot of methods to use, here we will take a look at some of the more feasible and useful secrets.

The chasing process. Most of the time, it's the guys who do all the chasing, rarely do you see girls taking this role. Couples agree that the chasing period is the most exciting and enjoyable part of a relationship. It is the most unpredictable time where there are most surprises and the guy is most romantic. Things tend to stale down once the relationship is more stable.

"My boyfriend doesn't give me flowers anymore."

"How I wish he can bring me some place instead of watching movies every weekend."

These are just some of the complaints pointed out by the girls interviewed. How do you maintain a relationship? How do you make it fun and exciting for both of you? Well, that is another topic which we will be discussing in later weeks.

For now, the secrets of chasing a girl. Now imagine that you just know this girl you are interested in. She could be your next door neighbor, a classmate, a stranger or even your friend's friend. Whichever the case, you want to get to know her better and hopefully at the end of the day, make her your girlfriend.

The first most important step to attaining this is contact. Not physical contact mind you! Let's not rush things okay? Contact as in you need her to notice you, be part of her life.

Be part of her life? Yah, call her, chat with her in school, at work or on the way home. But one thing to take note is not to overdo it. You wouldn't want to be a pest right?

Chatting is one of the best way. Most girls are talkative creatures, they like to talk crap, anything under the sun. Take my sis for example, she can talk on the phone for hours anytime, any day! Through the conversation, you will get to know the girl better, learn about her likes and dislikes, her hobbies. As you understand her more, you will discover for yourself whether she is the one for you.

In this modern day, chatting on the phone is not the only way. Alternatives include emails, ICQ, IRC and who can forget SMS? Yah, now that there is MMS, things just got easier for the guys.

You know those cute messages you can download? Those "Have a nice day" or "Thinking of you" crap? Go get them and send to her. Girls especially like this kind of candy crap. But do not flood her inbox okay? How would you feel if you receive 10 different "Have a nice day" messages? I bet your day won't be nice after that!

After so much talk, it's time for some action yah? Ask her out then. Asking a girl out involves a bit of skills. You can either do it tactically or ask her directly if you are the impatient kind.

Here are some Ask-Her-Out lines you can try.

1) "Hmm, have you watch the movie INSERT NAME OF MOVIE yet? I heard it's a good show. Wanna watch it this weekend?"

2) "My friend has a BBQ Outing this INSERT DAY OF WEEK, you wanna come along?" or you can also try

3) "Are you free this INSERT DAY OF WEEK? Wanna meet?"

Obviously, there are a lot more different ways you can ask a girl out. More on that in "Secrets of asking a girl out."

Anyway, once she has agreed to go out with you, you're almost there but not quite yet. Make your first date count. Go to the gym and tone those muscles of yours. Get rid of those unsightly fats and go get a six-pack. Ha. Have a haircut, get nice clothes, whatever just make sure you impress her on your first date.

Impress here doesn't mean you boast about your achievements or what. Don't go telling her how smart you are or how good a soccer player you are. Instead impress her by talking smartly and better still, be a good listener.

Remember that girls like to talk? Let them! Listen to her and occasionally give a bit of your comments, make sure the conversation stays alive. The golden rule is not to have too long a silence in between the conversation. It would be awkward for both of you. If you find yourself running out of things to say, whistle or sing a song, eliminate the dreaded silence. Ha. That was obviously a joke.

Talking about jokes, it would be better if you know plenty of them. Tell this to your date, make her laugh. If she laughs that means she's happy. If she's happy, she's enjoying herself and that means a well-done for you!

Of course, don't go on telling jokes all night long, you're neither a clown nor a jester.

So, where do you go on your first date? Most guys will choose to watch a movie. That is fine except that nothing much get done when both of you are staring at a gigantic screen. Watching a movie is non-interactive, it's somehow a waste of time. Experts agree that the cinema is not the best choice for a first date. But if you do bring her to a movie, try to make the best of it.

After the movie, bring her to dinner and maybe discuss about what both of you have just watched. Don't just go running off home after the movie just because you want to catch Man U against Everton. If you do that, your first date would have been a total waste of time. However, it is excusable if you are rushing to watch the showdown between Man U and Arsenal. Ha.

When the date is over, offer to send her home. She would naturally decline. Ask again. If she still insists on going home alone, ask one final time. If she still says no, then forget it. Don't get emotional and start begging her to let you send her home.

At the end of the day, give her a call when you reach home. Check whether if she has arrive home safely and ask her whether she has enjoyed herself. This would be the perfect time to ask for another date. And remember to wish her sweet dreams when you put down that phone!

The cycle will then go on... Ask her out a few more time and be creative. Don't keep going to the same old places, try something new, like bringing her to the zoo. Okay, just make sure she likes animals before you do that, you wouldn't want to torture her for a whole day!

After a few weeks, your relationship with her will gradually improve and she will start to grow fond of you. Now would be the time to pop the question, the golden question, "Will you be my girlfriend?" There are a lot of ways to ask but that is a whole new topic altogether.

To sum it up, the secrets of chasing a girl involves having contact with the girl, ie chatting on the phone, virtual world, sending crappy SMS, spending time with her and making her laugh a lot. Add some more care and romance and tada, you have the recipe for success!

Originally published in 2006