The Art of Dating - Secrets of the Perfect First Date

After missing in action for such a long time, Siu Kai is back to present to you the next part of "The Art of Dating" series - Secrets of the perfect first date.

So, after some time getting to know this girl, you feel that she might just be the right one for you and you would want to ask her out for a first date. But you have no idea how to go about planning it. You've heard story of how first dates go bad and you wouldn't want anything wrong to happen on your perfect day.

Hey, hey, not to worry man, that's what this gem is for. In this article, you will discover the fine secrets of making that first date perfect. :o)

The first thing you have to ask yourself is this. What is the purpose of this date? Most of the time, it would be because you want to get to know her better face to face and if you feel that she's the one, maybe you can arrange for a 2nd date and so forth. Let her see you without "the mask", that is you should be yourself and not try to act like someone whom you are not.

For example, if she is a Arsenal fan and she likes Martin Keown very much and you happened to be a Man U fan, don't blindly say that you support that guy too. It would not be good in the long term. Instead, you should be truthful and say, I hope that piece of crap get suspended for what he did to Ruud. Ha. :op

Okay, now that you are clear why you want to meet her, the 2nd question that should be on your mind is where the hell should you go. You wouldn't want to meet her at the MRT Station and then decide from there, worse ask her where she would like to go at the last minute. Most girls like guys to be decisive and be in control. Of course, there are exceptions.

The perfect first date should be planned way before hand, maybe one or two months earlier. In fact, you should start planning for your first date the moment you set your eyes on her. Ha. Just kidding lah.

Let's say you're asking her out on a Saturday. By right, you should have already pop the question on Monday and she would have given you an answer by Wednesday. So, where should you go on a first date? Well, there are quite a few choices, like going to concerts, watching a movie, shopping or just hang out at Coffeebean.: o) Well, why not have a little of each then?

First, ask her out to watch a movie. Ask her what she would like to watch. If she says she wants to watch Finding Nemo but really you would rather watch half naked men laying the smackdown on one another than a talking fish, it's up to you whether you want to go with her choice. The most sensible option here is to watch the fish lah, you can always watch half naked men some other time right? This is a date with a girl you like remember?

However, if she says she has no idea what to watch, just choose the latest blockbuster that is showing at the theaters. But make sure she likes that type of movie. If she is frightened by the dark, don't get her to watch Ju-On with you. She would most probably faint and you have to spend the better half of the date at the hospital! You get the point right?

After you decided on the movie, the next thing is to book the tickets. Imagine the disappointment when you reach the cinema and the words, "Sold Out" stare you right in the face. That wouldn't be too nice right?

For the actual day itself, you should wake up early, not that you would be able to sleep well in the first place due to the excitement. If you find yourself unable to sleep, go for a jog in the morning. It will keep you alert and when one is alert, he feels more confident.

Go one or two hours early to collect the tickets. The buffer time is also in case of any screw-ups. Really, you would not want to be late for your first date. With the extra time to spare, you can also do things at your own pace instead of rushing. When you rush, you tend to sweat. You wouldn't want to smell like shit when you meet her right? Imagine if she smells like fresh roses while you stinks…Duh?! You get the point?

Talking about scent, it would be advisable if you put on some deodorant of cologne to mask that body odor of yours. Ha. Just don't over do it.

Finally, you look at your watch and it reads 2pm. Any moment now, she will be here. Then, you caught sight of her walking towards you, smiling. Smile back and say hi. If she says, "Hey, you're early. Sorry I made you wait." You should reply, "No lah, I just came about 10 minutes ago." Of course, we all know you have been waiting since the early morning. :o)

After some casual talk, ask her whether she has eaten. If she has, suggest going window-shopping. If not, ask her whether she would want to grab a quick bite. The choice of where to eat would be yours. Choose a place that is less crowded so you won't have such a hard time finding seats and also you can hear each other while talking.

Now the one question, do you offer to help her buy food? If you are at a fast food restaurant, you should. But what if you are at a foodcourt? There are 2 choices here. Either you order the same food as her, thus you can find a reason for ordering for her or you let her order herself. Who should pay? Well, once again either you guys go dutch or you offer to treat her this time and maybe she can treat you another time. Another excuse for a second date!

If your food arrives first, don't just start gorging as if you have not eaten for ages, it's only polite that you wait for her order to come too. And one more thing, never talk while you are eating. This also applies to when she is eating. How the hell do you expect her to answer you when her mouth is full of food? Have you ever been in a situation when you are trying hard to chew your food because someone just asked you a question while you are eating halfway? Not really nice right?

After the light lunch, if you still have some time to spare, go shop around. Maybe if you happen to see something interesting and nice yet would not leave a hole in your pocket, you can buy it for her as a first date gift.

Okay, now it's time to watch the movie. Before you enter the theater, make sure you have 2 of the following items with you. No, not popcorn or pepsi. But rather a jacket/coat and a packet of tissue. A jacket is when she feels cold, you can offer her the jacket to keep her warm…ah…so nice right? :o) The tissue paper comes in handy when you are watching movies that has a high potential of making her cry, think Titanic. It has a secondary purpose too, in case you need to shit and there's no paper in the toilet! Ha.

Now, when the light dims, one important thing to take note, keep those hands to yourself! And watch the movie for goodness sake, not stare at her throughout the movie! Ha. The next one and a half or two hours would be the most wasteful time of the entire date…but hang in there okay?

After movie, dinner lah. Ha, eat all day must be pigs lah? If she says she's till quite full from the lunch earlier, offer to have a drink instead. This time, don't go to any fastfood restaurant, in fact avoid the crowd. Choose a quieter place where you can just sit down and talk over a cup of coffee or something.

Remember the movie you just watched? Well, you can discuss about it with her. But mind you, don't ask her questions which you know will only result in one word answer like, How did you find the movie?" She would most certainly say, "Okay loh." Instead, ask intelligent questions that would prompt a discussion, like, "Don't you think that bitch was a bit too selfish, leaving that poor chap to freeze to death in the cold ocean?" Ha.

While talking, get to know her better. Never mind if there are lots of people queuing up waiting for seats. To hell with them! Ha. That's the reason why you should choose less crowded places. So that you can talk to her for hours and not worry about being chased away.

At the end of the date, tell her that you really enjoyed yourself and ask her whether she did. Most girls would say yes, even if it was a torture being with you. Ha.

Seriously, if you had followed all the secrets taught she would gladly wants a second date with you. Heck, maybe you were so good that she would ask you for a second date on the spot! Okay guys, dream on. Ha.

Take the opportunity to ask her when you might see her again. If your first date was a success, she would most probably say next week. Tell her you will call her again and offer to send her home.

Most certainly, she would decline. If that's the case, at least walk her to the bus stop or MRT station lah.

Say one last goodbye and wish her goodnight. No goodnight kiss yet, don't rush things. After leaving, sms her, thanking her for making your day such a perfect one.

Finally, to end the perfect first date, you can either call her or sms her to check whether she has reached home safely. After that, wish her sweet dreams and she would most likely say, "You too."

Ha. I bet you will be having lots of that don't you, you lucky bastard! "o)

Originally published in 2006