Have you found your soulmate?

How do you know that you have found the right person for you? That you have found true love? How do you distinguish between having a partner and a soul mate?

The difference is found in passivity and silence. If you feel you always have to be doing something, always have to talk and stimulate each other, if you continually have to entertain each other with exciting tales, hot gossip, and funny jokes, then you have a partner.

Your relationship is not so different from that of two business partners who work together, and always try to prove to each other how much they are contributing to the business.

"But if you can simply hold each other, saying absolutely nothing, and still the pain goes away, then you have a soul-mate. He or she knows your thoughts and secrets without you expressing them, and shares a love with you that no words can simply describe."

A student is in school, feeling overwhelmed by all her projects. The deadlines are fast approaching and she is on the brink of a mental breakdown. Suddenly, she closes her eyes and she thinks about her boyfriend. It so happens that her boyfriend is in Tekong and she can't reach him by phone.

And yet, the mere thought of him, the knowledge that he exists, that he belongs to her, and that he loves her, to her is enough to take away the pain. She gains strength from knowing that he is out there and that together they are a unity, a couple.

In a partnership, it is different however. Then only when he calls and soothes her, does she feel okay and carry on. Only in his embrace does she feel comforted.

"When you find your soul-mate, you don't even need to hear their voice or feel their caress in order to find comfort. The pain goes away just by knowing that they love and care for you, even if you are separated by thousands of miles."

You know you have a soul-mate when everything you experience, you want to share with them.

One of the most important things to ask yourself in a relationship, to see if you really care about your girlfriend or boyfriend, is whether you miss them when you are not around them. Do you ache and feel less complete? Or do you simply don't notice their absence?

When you see something beautiful, like a sunrise, do you miss them and wish they were with you to share it? Or were you simply overwhelmed by the beauty of the sun that you forgot them?

When something good happens, do you immediately want to tell them about it? Are they the first person you want to share the news with?

When you see her smile, or hear him laugh, does that make you happy? If your answer to these questions is yes, then congratulations! You have found your soul-mate.

You will want to share everything with your soul-mate. All of a sudden, living on your own will seem strange. Because now they complete you, and without them you feel incomplete.

"A soul-mate complements you in the deepest way. What you once lack, he or she nows bring to your life. Your soul-mate improves you as a person, and inspires you to accomplish things you only dreamt of."

Finally, when you find your soul-mate, you will see his or her faults. Love is not blind. You will be aware that your soul-mate lacks so much in so many areas of life. But that won't matter at all. Because you will know that you need each other, that you belong with one another, and that together you will overcome all flaws and obstacles.

"A soul-mate is not someone who is perfect, but someone who is perfect for you."

We all have a soul-mate in this earth. It is up to us to find them. Until then, we are only a half.

Have you found your other half yet?

Originally published in 2006